Roger (Or Journey to Mars from the Styx of Kansas in an REO Speedwagon Starship)

by Vincent Gargiulo

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about

A 16 song journey into the life of Roger who leaves his crap life behind on Earth to date the Mars Princess & become King of the Universe.

credits

released August 9, 2013

All songs written by Vincent Gargiulo except #12 by Mike Wright & Vincent Gargiulo. Produced by Gavin Jones at Duvateen Sound.

Vocals/Keys/Guitar: Vincent Gargiulo
Drums: Roberta Drake
Vocals on #3, Bass on #1, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10: Kimba Anderson
Bass on #2, 3, 11, 12, 14: Steve Fowler
Guitar on #1, 2, 7, & 12: Johnny Harper
Guitar on #4, 6, 9, 10: Kiyoshi Foster
Keys on #3, 12, & 14: Tom Shaw
Vocals on #1, 5, 10, 12, 13, 14, & #16: Alisa Damaso
Vocals on #1, 5, 14, & 16: Katie Rivers
Vocals on #1, 5, & 14: Amy Foote
Horns on #3: Gary Schwantes

Additional Vocals: Jon Illum, Gavin Jones, & Mike Wright
Artwork by Rosie Morales.

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about

Vincent Gargiulo Oakland, California

Vincent Gargiulo is a filmmaker & musician and tries to dabble the two together as much as possible. He's also in the two man band Ghost Peeps, wrote the tunes for faux-group Toasters 'N' Moose, and even had Billy Ray Cyrus cover one his songs. His musical hits include "Taste The Biscuit" & "David's Pizza". His songs not about food are less popular but exist. ... more

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Track Name: Wake Up Roger
Wake Up Roger
Today's a brand new day
Go and tell your mama
You gotta go play
In your cover band
Roger, you're our man.

Wake Up Roger
Don't waste another hour
Go and have some breakfast
Then jump into the shower
Before your brother Dan
Hogs up all the hot water he can

You got alot to do
And go to work too
And you're no as young as you used to be
In fact, you're 42
And everyone's telling you
You gotta go and make your life into something

Wake Up Roger
Don't tell those people get you down
You're on the top bunk!
And Dan is never around
To get in the way
Grab your guitar and play
So go on
It's getting late

Oh Roger, Roger, Wake Up Roger
Track Name: Cover Band
We practice all day and all through the night
Working on our solos for our lengthy jam in "Slow Ride"
Got the tabs in our pockets so it all goes right
Feel the surge of the open mic

We're available for parties, weddings, & such
But to get us together might take a few months
And if "Candle in the Wind" makes you sad
We'll bring it back up with "Soul Man"
We're proud to be absolutely nobody
Oh we're a cover band.

Joey wants to play "Roundabout" but it's a bitch
We really need to stay with "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Ballroom Blitz"
We'll take requests just as long as it's on our list
"The Heart of Rock 'N' Roll" is in our midst.

We're not getting off the stage till we're done
With a hearty monologue just before "House of the Rising Sun"
And even if we sound bad
A good song will make up for that
We're proud to be absolutely nobody
Oh we're a cover band.

Don't think it's just old-tyme stuff
Kids b-days we do the Macarena.
Sure we didn't write the songs
But we did pick the ones that we wanted to play
A hit parade, you can't go wrong
A little C, F, & G and you're on your way

(gratuitous guitar solo)

We're stuck in the middle of skill
You will always please a crowd with "Margaritaville"
Rock fantasies we once had
But now some of us are dads
We're proud to play "Louie Louie"
Oh we're a cover band.
Track Name: You're Out Of The Band
Pissy Band Member:
You're in. You're out. You're all about
You stop. You're off. You run your mouth
We're done with you and everything you do
Oh you're out of the band
You used to be someone that we could count upon
But now it seems you've lost your dreams,
Your brain is too forgone. Too forgone

Roger: No, not true. I really care too. You must believe when I tell you.
PBM: If that's the case, then why are you late. You knew the rehearsal was at eight
Roger: Sorry guys, a slight mistake. You know with the van how long it takes.
PBM: I don't want to hear it. You make me sick. Get the hell out of here and give back my pic.

PBM:
You're bad. You're sad. You make us mad
You can't play. You can't sing. The worse we've had
We're done with you and everything you do
Oh you're out of the band
Don't worry bout the show tonight.
We found someone who fits just right
His name's Gary and he's very together and tight, together & tight

Gary: Hi, I'm Gary. You're in my spot. You heard these guys. Go on. Begot.
Roger: Fine, I'll go but soon you'll see this band is nothing without me.
...
Roger: Ok, fine. Don't talk back. I'll just be going and that is that.

Roger:
I'm finished. I'm threw. I'm late for work too
Oh what am I supposed to do.
Alright, I stink. No time to think.
Oh I'm out of the band
Track Name: Pacifica Pizza
Afternoon. Little balls of dough
Business luncheons. It's actually quite slow
Oh there I go, I'm off & went
Mapless new developments
I'm so lost and I got red sauce all over my shirt
Ms. Markham's class. Kids eating on the grass
Then after that, there was a slight accident but no one was hurt.

I work 40 hours & week and maybe more
If someone decides not to show-ho.
I'll buy you a pizza if you're my friend
At least, you say so.

After sunset. There's a light blue sky
Dial the number. Is this 125?
I'm gonna walk around now
I don't like this part of town
It's cool man. I'm just tired and I wanna go home.
The store is hopping
I'm in the backroom mopping.
But I rather be in the front with the girls who answer the phone

I work 40 hours & week and maybe more
If someone decides not to show-ho.
I'll buy you a pizza if you're my friend
At least, you say so.

After midnight. Can't find the address
Having a party. This makes me so depressed
My gas tank is running low
I got three stops to go
There's no sign and I cannot find my little flashlight
I finished my runs
But my job's not done
I gotta go back and clean the store this starry starry night

I work 40 hours & week and maybe more
If someone decides not to show-ho.
I'll buy you a pizza.
Track Name: Linking Device #1
Roger's Boss:
You didn't deliver
You didn't turn your beacon on
You drove too fast
Roger you're gone

Chorus: You're Fired

Roger:
I lost my job
Oh how could this be
At least I have my girl
She still loves me

Chorus: Better think again

Roger's Ex-Girlfriend:
You don't please me anymore. I wish that you were dead.

Roger:
Why does every girl I meet say that.
Well this just sucks
I'm left with nothing
Mom's locked the house
And I can't find my key

Chorus: Keep it down out there
Track Name: Why Does Life Entail (Me Feeling So Down Low)?
My dad's fucking nuts
Obsessed with his work
Thinking he's all great
But acting like a jerk
My mom's always sweatin'
Those little tiny things
Bitch, I can't take no more
Of those crazy mood swings
Ain't got no more friends cuz
The ones that I had
Fuckin' pissed me off
And made me all sad
Just like the girl
That I'm seeing right now
Got no time for me. She don't even like me anyhow

I say OH! No. Why does life entail me feeling so down low?

The dog can't walk.
The car won't run.
All of my hobbies
Really aren't all that fun
Grandpa's already dead
And grandma will be soon
Don't know what she's talking about
She's just a looney tune
So that leaves me
And who the hell am I
Well I'm not saying
That I'm some perfect guy
But I try to be
Which is more than I can say
For some of those other people who just seem to get in my way

I say OH! No. Why does life entail me feeling so down low?

Yeah, I'm being selfish but you simply have to see
I help everybody else out but nobody helps me

I got problems too
That I got to figure out
Difference with me though
I don't scream & shout
I'm doing it now
To simply make a point
I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of this joint.

I say OH! No. Why does life entail me feeling so down low?

And I work so hard. And I fail, fail, fail
Yeah I work so hard. And I fail, fail, fail
But now I'm tired of talking. This is the end of my tale.
Track Name: This Planet's Dumb
Roger, don't cry
You're life isn't over
Reach in my pocket
And pull out a shell
Don't let those sons
Start taking you over
Cuz Roger, this planet's dumb

Out there in space
You'll find a new beginning
You are in charge now
Of your star fleet command
Don't hesitate
The galaxy's waiting
Cuz Roger, this planet's dumb
Track Name: I'm Not Sure If I Want To Do This
I forgot my flag. The Earth's look so tiny
Stuck in the Milky Way and didn't bring cookies
I can't set my cruise control. It's dark & it's lonely
And I'm not sure if I want to do (THIS)
What is a comet? And what is an asteroid?
I'm gonna vomit if I see a Meteroid
Am I in a black hole or am I just paranoid
And I'm not sure if I want to go...

Through this whole space travel thing
I'm a nugget in a bowl drifting down an orbital ring
Above the exosphere. No brakes, no breath, no beer
And a whole lot of fear.

Oxygen is low. Starting to feel sick
No stop for directions. Circle round like a Spudnik
Caught between a soundwave of the 36' Olympics
And I'm not sure if I want to do (THIS)
Is that a moonbeam? Am I just too high?
Wish I had sun screen. I feel like a house fly
My food turned to liquid. Now I'm just annoyed
And I'm not sure if I want to go...

Through showers of meteors
What am I doing here? Space is just everywhere.
Here I am again out on my own.
20 billion light years from home
In a place I've never known.

Where am I going? Where is the light switch?
Sitting here floating awaiting a death wish
No point in phone homing down in a moon ridge
And I'm not sure if I want to do (THIS)
Don't know astronomy. Didn't think I would need the stuff
But I own all the Star Wars. You'd think that would be enough
My friend is indecision and he never shuts up
And I'm not sure if I want to do this.
Track Name: Aliens
Aliens, oh why'd you be there. Aliens, oh can't you see
Aliens, oh why'd you be there. Aliens, oh let me be.

I'm stranded on a planet and the natives ain't gonna have it
They all want me gone. Want me gone!
They ruff me and they cuff me and they prod me to keep walking
God damn you martians. You martians!
Surrounded by strange beings. They can't believe what they're seeing
Just what is that thing. Is that thing?
I'm thrown into a square. A million watchers everywhere
To see me face the King. Face the king!

A million aliens! Those crazy aliens! I mean those aliens! Those zany aliens!

The King sends me to death but he grants me one request
I need a stereo. Stereo!
I turn it up to ten. Let's just see what will happen.
Help me BTO. BTO!
A sound they've heard. Everybody spreads the word
Oh man, this is great. This is great!
The King he sets me free but his daughter has eyes on me
Rock again saved the day! Saved the day!

Got saved from aliens! Those nutty aliens! Them zany aliens! Those crazy aliens!

Aliens, oh why'd you be there. Aliens, oh can't you see
Aliens, oh why'd you be there. Aliens, oh let me be.
(Leave your shirt on, Roger!)
Track Name: Maybe Someday
There's something there. Something new & fresh
He's big and has two arms and I'm impressed
I wonder if he'd ever like a girl like me
Or will it just remain my fantasy

YEAH!!! I'm a princess but not like one he's seen
Could this man understand
That underneath this alien skin is a heart of green
Maybe someday

I love his hair. It is so unique
I love to run through it with my beak
It's short on top and long in back
I bet he's also awesome in the sack

YEAH!!! We look so very different
But inside we're the same
Two lost souls with our heads in the clouds
Searching for that star to light the way
Maybe someday

Oh don't look now but here he comes
I wonder if he'd like to sit and watch the sun
But can a love like ours ever really be
We're on a date tonight. I guess we'll see
Track Name: Drive To Mars
The kittens are swingin' to a different beat
The parties on Earth are just so obsolete
You gotta fly up to the sky
Let's take a car and drive to Mars tonight

If you think miniature golf is super cool
Then try it on one of Saturn's many moons
You gotta fly up to the sky
Let's take a car and drive to Mars tonight

You and me, we would be all alone
Sitting in a crater of our very own
Nobody will ever bother us
And even if they do, we'll just stir up the dust

Hold my hand and we'll be on our way
We'll break through time & space and stay up late
You gotta fly up to the sky
Let's take a car and drive to Mars tonight

You and me, we would be all alone
Sitting in a crater of our very own
Nobody will ever bother us
And even if they do, we'll just stir up the dust
Track Name: Questions Of The Father
Stupid little punk
The kid ain't got no spunk
He must of gotten it from his mother

But what I am to do
He wants to stay over on the weekdays too
How could I father him and his brother

God damn Roger and his dream to play the guitar
God damn Roger. Save your money. Don't buy a new car

Now did you know that's he 42
And still living in his old room
Ain't it time to say enough is enough

Now I'm left home at 18
And now take a good look at me
I have a big car and I own lots of stuff

God damn Roger. I bought a guitar for you
God damn Roger, but I cursed so it's always outta tune.

And then you'll see, rock stardom is a stupid dream
You can't play so just go on.
Get it on. Just get on. With your life.
Track Name: Linking Device #2
Mars Princess:
That is the saddest thing I've ever heard
I will destroy your planet
I will kill all those jerks on Earth

Roger:
Oh wow, would you really blow them to smithereens.
I was thinking the same thing
I can't believe you'd do that for me

Together:
I think you're swell
Track Name: Love's What's Happening
It's Enchanting. Love's What 's Happening.

Holding hands will turn into wedding bands
And then you say I'm your girl and then I say I'm your man (I do, I do)
There are some who don't a-like kiss & hug
They don't know (why don't they know) bout making love

It's Exciting. Love's What's Happening.

Snuggle up into each other's arms and then you pull the curtain down
So nobody knows what's going on (let me see, let me see)
Love is what they said as we fall into the bed (ahhhh)
Don't look now. I can see the hearts around your head

It's love. It's love!!

It's Really Something! Love's What's Happening.

Everyone wants to feel like they're someone
But they can't be someone without another someone (to acknowledge it)
When you get done (oh yes you will) you will go on
Going round & round (and round & round). That's what makes it fun.

It's love. It's love!!

It's Inviting! Love's What Happening.
Track Name: The End Of The World
Boom!
Track Name: Roger Is King Of The Universe
Roger is the King of the Universe
Roger is the King of the Universe

Alien Dad: He's a role model to our kids
Alien Mom: And Roger helped saved our marriage
Alien Baby: When I grow up I wanna be just like him

Roger is the King of the Universe
Roger is the King of the Universe

Mars Princess: I found you from beyond the stars
Roger: And I found you right here on Mars
Together: Let's get together and blast off into love.