Roger (Or Journey to Mars from the Styx of Kansas in an REO Speedwagon Starship)

by Vincent Gargiulo

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1.
Wake Up Roger Today's a brand new day Go and tell your mama You gotta go play In your cover band Roger, you're our man. Wake Up Roger Don't waste another hour Go and have some breakfast Then jump into the shower Before your brother Dan Hogs up all the hot water he can You got alot to do And go to work too And you're no as young as you used to be In fact, you're 42 And everyone's telling you You gotta go and make your life into something Wake Up Roger Don't tell those people get you down You're on the top bunk! And Dan is never around To get in the way Grab your guitar and play So go on It's getting late Oh Roger, Roger, Wake Up Roger
2.
Cover Band 04:20
We practice all day and all through the night Working on our solos for our lengthy jam in "Slow Ride" Got the tabs in our pockets so it all goes right Feel the surge of the open mic We're available for parties, weddings, & such But to get us together might take a few months And if "Candle in the Wind" makes you sad We'll bring it back up with "Soul Man" We're proud to be absolutely nobody Oh we're a cover band. Joey wants to play "Roundabout" but it's a bitch We really need to stay with "Brown-Eyed Girl" and "Ballroom Blitz" We'll take requests just as long as it's on our list "The Heart of Rock 'N' Roll" is in our midst. We're not getting off the stage till we're done With a hearty monologue just before "House of the Rising Sun" And even if we sound bad A good song will make up for that We're proud to be absolutely nobody Oh we're a cover band. Don't think it's just old-tyme stuff Kids b-days we do the Macarena. Sure we didn't write the songs But we did pick the ones that we wanted to play A hit parade, you can't go wrong A little C, F, & G and you're on your way (gratuitous guitar solo) We're stuck in the middle of skill You will always please a crowd with "Margaritaville" Rock fantasies we once had But now some of us are dads We're proud to play "Louie Louie" Oh we're a cover band.
3.
Pissy Band Member: You're in. You're out. You're all about You stop. You're off. You run your mouth We're done with you and everything you do Oh you're out of the band You used to be someone that we could count upon But now it seems you've lost your dreams, Your brain is too forgone. Too forgone Roger: No, not true. I really care too. You must believe when I tell you. PBM: If that's the case, then why are you late. You knew the rehearsal was at eight Roger: Sorry guys, a slight mistake. You know with the van how long it takes. PBM: I don't want to hear it. You make me sick. Get the hell out of here and give back my pic. PBM: You're bad. You're sad. You make us mad You can't play. You can't sing. The worse we've had We're done with you and everything you do Oh you're out of the band Don't worry bout the show tonight. We found someone who fits just right His name's Gary and he's very together and tight, together & tight Gary: Hi, I'm Gary. You're in my spot. You heard these guys. Go on. Begot. Roger: Fine, I'll go but soon you'll see this band is nothing without me. ... Roger: Ok, fine. Don't talk back. I'll just be going and that is that. Roger: I'm finished. I'm threw. I'm late for work too Oh what am I supposed to do. Alright, I stink. No time to think. Oh I'm out of the band
4.
Afternoon. Little balls of dough Business luncheons. It's actually quite slow Oh there I go, I'm off & went Mapless new developments I'm so lost and I got red sauce all over my shirt Ms. Markham's class. Kids eating on the grass Then after that, there was a slight accident but no one was hurt. I work 40 hours & week and maybe more If someone decides not to show-ho. I'll buy you a pizza if you're my friend At least, you say so. After sunset. There's a light blue sky Dial the number. Is this 125? I'm gonna walk around now I don't like this part of town It's cool man. I'm just tired and I wanna go home. The store is hopping I'm in the backroom mopping. But I rather be in the front with the girls who answer the phone I work 40 hours & week and maybe more If someone decides not to show-ho. I'll buy you a pizza if you're my friend At least, you say so. After midnight. Can't find the address Having a party. This makes me so depressed My gas tank is running low I got three stops to go There's no sign and I cannot find my little flashlight I finished my runs But my job's not done I gotta go back and clean the store this starry starry night I work 40 hours & week and maybe more If someone decides not to show-ho. I'll buy you a pizza.
5.
Roger's Boss: You didn't deliver You didn't turn your beacon on You drove too fast Roger you're gone Chorus: You're Fired Roger: I lost my job Oh how could this be At least I have my girl She still loves me Chorus: Better think again Roger's Ex-Girlfriend: You don't please me anymore. I wish that you were dead. Roger: Why does every girl I meet say that. Well this just sucks I'm left with nothing Mom's locked the house And I can't find my key Chorus: Keep it down out there
6.
My dad's fucking nuts Obsessed with his work Thinking he's all great But acting like a jerk My mom's always sweatin' Those little tiny things Bitch, I can't take no more Of those crazy mood swings Ain't got no more friends cuz The ones that I had Fuckin' pissed me off And made me all sad Just like the girl That I'm seeing right now Got no time for me. She don't even like me anyhow I say OH! No. Why does life entail me feeling so down low? The dog can't walk. The car won't run. All of my hobbies Really aren't all that fun Grandpa's already dead And grandma will be soon Don't know what she's talking about She's just a looney tune So that leaves me And who the hell am I Well I'm not saying That I'm some perfect guy But I try to be Which is more than I can say For some of those other people who just seem to get in my way I say OH! No. Why does life entail me feeling so down low? Yeah, I'm being selfish but you simply have to see I help everybody else out but nobody helps me I got problems too That I got to figure out Difference with me though I don't scream & shout I'm doing it now To simply make a point I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of this joint. I say OH! No. Why does life entail me feeling so down low? And I work so hard. And I fail, fail, fail Yeah I work so hard. And I fail, fail, fail But now I'm tired of talking. This is the end of my tale.
7.
Roger, don't cry You're life isn't over Reach in my pocket And pull out a shell Don't let those sons Start taking you over Cuz Roger, this planet's dumb Out there in space You'll find a new beginning You are in charge now Of your star fleet command Don't hesitate The galaxy's waiting Cuz Roger, this planet's dumb
8.
I forgot my flag. The Earth's look so tiny Stuck in the Milky Way and didn't bring cookies I can't set my cruise control. It's dark & it's lonely And I'm not sure if I want to do (THIS) What is a comet? And what is an asteroid? I'm gonna vomit if I see a Meteroid Am I in a black hole or am I just paranoid And I'm not sure if I want to go... Through this whole space travel thing I'm a nugget in a bowl drifting down an orbital ring Above the exosphere. No brakes, no breath, no beer And a whole lot of fear. Oxygen is low. Starting to feel sick No stop for directions. Circle round like a Spudnik Caught between a soundwave of the 36' Olympics And I'm not sure if I want to do (THIS) Is that a moonbeam? Am I just too high? Wish I had sun screen. I feel like a house fly My food turned to liquid. Now I'm just annoyed And I'm not sure if I want to go... Through showers of meteors What am I doing here? Space is just everywhere. Here I am again out on my own. 20 billion light years from home In a place I've never known. Where am I going? Where is the light switch? Sitting here floating awaiting a death wish No point in phone homing down in a moon ridge And I'm not sure if I want to do (THIS) Don't know astronomy. Didn't think I would need the stuff But I own all the Star Wars. You'd think that would be enough My friend is indecision and he never shuts up And I'm not sure if I want to do this.
9.
Aliens 01:49
Aliens, oh why'd you be there. Aliens, oh can't you see Aliens, oh why'd you be there. Aliens, oh let me be. I'm stranded on a planet and the natives ain't gonna have it They all want me gone. Want me gone! They ruff me and they cuff me and they prod me to keep walking God damn you martians. You martians! Surrounded by strange beings. They can't believe what they're seeing Just what is that thing. Is that thing? I'm thrown into a square. A million watchers everywhere To see me face the King. Face the king! A million aliens! Those crazy aliens! I mean those aliens! Those zany aliens! The King sends me to death but he grants me one request I need a stereo. Stereo! I turn it up to ten. Let's just see what will happen. Help me BTO. BTO! A sound they've heard. Everybody spreads the word Oh man, this is great. This is great! The King he sets me free but his daughter has eyes on me Rock again saved the day! Saved the day! Got saved from aliens! Those nutty aliens! Them zany aliens! Those crazy aliens! Aliens, oh why'd you be there. Aliens, oh can't you see Aliens, oh why'd you be there. Aliens, oh let me be. (Leave your shirt on, Roger!)
10.
There's something there. Something new & fresh He's big and has two arms and I'm impressed I wonder if he'd ever like a girl like me Or will it just remain my fantasy YEAH!!! I'm a princess but not like one he's seen Could this man understand That underneath this alien skin is a heart of green Maybe someday I love his hair. It is so unique I love to run through it with my beak It's short on top and long in back I bet he's also awesome in the sack YEAH!!! We look so very different But inside we're the same Two lost souls with our heads in the clouds Searching for that star to light the way Maybe someday Oh don't look now but here he comes I wonder if he'd like to sit and watch the sun But can a love like ours ever really be We're on a date tonight. I guess we'll see
11.
The kittens are swingin' to a different beat The parties on Earth are just so obsolete You gotta fly up to the sky Let's take a car and drive to Mars tonight If you think miniature golf is super cool Then try it on one of Saturn's many moons You gotta fly up to the sky Let's take a car and drive to Mars tonight You and me, we would be all alone Sitting in a crater of our very own Nobody will ever bother us And even if they do, we'll just stir up the dust Hold my hand and we'll be on our way We'll break through time & space and stay up late You gotta fly up to the sky Let's take a car and drive to Mars tonight You and me, we would be all alone Sitting in a crater of our very own Nobody will ever bother us And even if they do, we'll just stir up the dust
12.
Stupid little punk The kid ain't got no spunk He must of gotten it from his mother But what I am to do He wants to stay over on the weekdays too How could I father him and his brother God damn Roger and his dream to play the guitar God damn Roger. Save your money. Don't buy a new car Now did you know that's he 42 And still living in his old room Ain't it time to say enough is enough Now I'm left home at 18 And now take a good look at me I have a big car and I own lots of stuff God damn Roger. I bought a guitar for you God damn Roger, but I cursed so it's always outta tune. And then you'll see, rock stardom is a stupid dream You can't play so just go on. Get it on. Just get on. With your life.
13.
Mars Princess: That is the saddest thing I've ever heard I will destroy your planet I will kill all those jerks on Earth Roger: Oh wow, would you really blow them to smithereens. I was thinking the same thing I can't believe you'd do that for me Together: I think you're swell
14.
It's Enchanting. Love's What 's Happening. Holding hands will turn into wedding bands And then you say I'm your girl and then I say I'm your man (I do, I do) There are some who don't a-like kiss & hug They don't know (why don't they know) bout making love It's Exciting. Love's What's Happening. Snuggle up into each other's arms and then you pull the curtain down So nobody knows what's going on (let me see, let me see) Love is what they said as we fall into the bed (ahhhh) Don't look now. I can see the hearts around your head It's love. It's love!! It's Really Something! Love's What's Happening. Everyone wants to feel like they're someone But they can't be someone without another someone (to acknowledge it) When you get done (oh yes you will) you will go on Going round & round (and round & round). That's what makes it fun. It's love. It's love!! It's Inviting! Love's What Happening.
15.
Boom!
16.
Roger is the King of the Universe Roger is the King of the Universe Alien Dad: He's a role model to our kids Alien Mom: And Roger helped saved our marriage Alien Baby: When I grow up I wanna be just like him Roger is the King of the Universe Roger is the King of the Universe Mars Princess: I found you from beyond the stars Roger: And I found you right here on Mars Together: Let's get together and blast off into love.

about

A 16 song journey into the life of Roger who leaves his crap life behind on Earth to date the Mars Princess & become King of the Universe.

credits

released August 9, 2013

All songs written by Vincent Gargiulo except #12 by Mike Wright & Vincent Gargiulo. Produced by Gavin Jones at Duvateen Sound.

Vocals/Keys/Guitar: Vincent Gargiulo
Drums: Roberta Drake
Vocals on #3, Bass on #1, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10: Kimba Anderson
Bass on #2, 3, 11, 12, 14: Steve Fowler
Guitar on #1, 2, 7, & 12: Johnny Harper
Guitar on #4, 6, 9, 10: Kiyoshi Foster
Keys on #3, 12, & 14: Tom Shaw
Vocals on #1, 5, 10, 12, 13, 14, & #16: Alisa Damaso
Vocals on #1, 5, 14, & 16: Katie Rivers
Vocals on #1, 5, & 14: Amy Foote
Horns on #3: Gary Schwantes

Additional Vocals: Jon Illum, Gavin Jones, & Mike Wright
Artwork by Rosie Morales.

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Vincent Gargiulo Oakland, California

Vincent Gargiulo is a filmmaker & musician and tries to dabble the two together as much as possible. He currently fronts the band, Vincent Gargiulo National Park. His musical hits include "Taste The Biscuit" & "David's Pizza". His songs not about food are less popular but exist. ... more

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